How to Live Like a Butabi

Disclaimer: try not to take life or any of this too seriously.

Fire your attorney if they haven’t pointed out that you never signed a contract saying, “I will be good at the adulting.” Where is it written that you have to make reasonable purchases? Work a boring stable job? Wear modest swimwear? Handle your responsibilities responsibly only to be rewarded with more? 

Fortunately for you, lessons can be gleaned from that noble heroes of A Night at the Roxbury. After all, the Butabi brothers are students of those ancient philosophers, The Beegees. And, as it is written in “Stayin’ Alive”: when you’re a dancing man, you just can’t lose. So, put on a satin suit in your favorite pastel color and let’s head bop to deafening techno pop. Here’s how to live like a Butabi.

Meet new people 

Not sure how? Don’t be afraid to borrow a line. “Sup? You from out of town?” It works no matter what town you’re in, or what town they’re from. If you find yourself in hottie overload situation, be sure to avoid a “Sup?” malfunction by pacing yourself. “Uh-huh, yeh-hey. Want to be my lover?”

Assume nothing

In matters of business, it keeps you wise.

DOUG: Is this a VISA, a Mastercard?

CUSTOMER: Move your thumb.

In matters of love, it keeps you humble.

STEVE: What’s up? You wanna dance?

VIVICA: Yes.

STEVE: All right. Take it easy.

DOUG: Steve, she said “yes.”

STEVE: What?

Guard your sense of wonder

You’ll never take new experiences for granted: It’s a beautiful life, uh-oh-oh-oh.

STEVE: Oh my God, Doug. This is the most amazing place I’ve ever been. 

GRIECO: Guys, guys, this is the coat room.

And you’ll never fail to appreciate the simple pleasures.

DOUG: Champagne is good and all, but you know what really makes a party? Fluffy Whip.

STEVE: Yeah, but not when you put it on stuff. When you push the little white nozzle, before anything comes out, you suck on it. It’s really fun.

VIVICA: You mean like nitrous oxide?

Reject conventional wisdom

Sometimes, life makes too much sense. Marrying the daughter of a neighboring lamp shop is good business for the heir of a plastic plant shop. The resulting partnership could make you bigger than “I-I-I-KEA.” But, if she starts putting your clothes in boxes, saying, “What goes on in your head when you shop for yourself?” then hitting on a bridesmaid at your wedding might be a cry for help from you to you. Somewhere, there are stories filled with Mighty Duck men. “Emilio!”

Disrupt

If your brother is about to make a marriage mistake, interrupt with style. Let music make your statement: What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me, no more. 

Don’t worry about hurting the haters—they always take care of themselves. Maybe a buddy will fill in as the groom at your wedding?

CRAIG: Now, not only am I a professional trainer, but I also hope to market my own protein bar someday. Plus, I’ve always loved you.

EMILY: Oh. Well…Okay, but we should look into infomercials.

PRIEST: Whoa, this is a completely new fee. Cool?

Innovate

The Butabis took their deep knowledge of club rejection and turned it into a club where the waiting line is the club and the inside of the club is the street. 

DOUG: You can not take away our dreams.

STEVE: Yeah, because we’re, like, asleep when we have them.

Do these things, and you may proudly wear your silver chain over your fitted black t-shirt. You might even meet a credit vixen, more beautiful than she sounds, or a hottie police officer at the municipal court on or before June 6th. That’s the thing about life—no one knows, especially a Butabi. So, do yourself a favor and download the soundtrack for A Night at the Roxbury. A “little bit of ecstasy” will help you keep the Butabi way of life alive. And maybe even your dreams.