He’s Not My Boyfriend: Celebrating Platonic Relationships in Horror This Valentine’s Day
It's the time of year when advertising and social media will incessantly remind you of your relationship status. I have seen no fewer than 20 posts in the last week about "favorite horror couples" with #relationshipgoals. And they're the same ones every year.
I don’t even want to watch a couple in a horror movie. Inevitably there will be a scene in which they stop to tell each other how much they love each other, usually as they are being chased by a killer or monster. Or the two who JUST met and when one is in peril, the other risks their own life to save them.
What about the other pairs of people? The ones who don't hook up? Shouldn't they get some attention?
So this year, I’ve put together a sexual tension-free marathon with my favorite platonic relationships in horror.
George and Edna: The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue, aka Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (1974)
Ray Lovelock and Cristina Galbo meet by way of a car accident. In almost any other movie, this would be a meet-cute, but instead, they find themselves fighting to survive amongst the living dead. I love it when that happens.
Katherine and Bubba: From Beyond (1986)
When Jeffrey Combs becomes involved in wacky interdimensional experiments, it’s time to bring in the big guns: Barbara Crampton and Ken Foree. Despite the iconic scene with Barbara Crampton in leather lingerie (also known as the sexual awakening for many young horror fans), Foree keeps his cool and focuses on the conflict at hand: Dr. Pretorius and his third (ahem) eye.
Marcus and Gianna: Deep Red (1976)
If ever there was a power platonic couple, it’s David Hemmings and Daria Nicolodi in Argento's classic giallo. They meet, they joke, they press each other’s buttons, she saves him from a fire, they solve a murder mystery, and they don’t hook up. Nor is there any hint that they will. Perfection.
Meg and Brian: The Blob (1988)
This one will trick you into thinking you’re going to be stuck watching a couple (Shawnee Smith and Donovan Leitch) fight to survive against an alien blob. Then Leitch dies (not a spoiler, just look at the movie poster) and Kevin Dillon shows up on his motorcycle with his mullet. Despite his glorious locks, Dillon and Smith never go beyond teaming up to save the town.
Mary and Peter: City of the Living Dead (1983)
Catriona MacColl doesn’t stop once to make eyes at Christopher George, even after he saves her from being buried alive. Nope, she’s got to get to Dunwich after a priest has committed suicide and opened the gates of hell. Things may have been different if she had Googled George’s Playgirl spread, though.
Erica is the co-host of the Unsung Horrors podcast along with Lance Schibi. When the world is not on fire, you can find them weekly at Austin Alamo Drafthouse’s Terror Tuesdays. In the meantime, you can listen to their reviews of underseen horror movies here.