H. E. DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS: Abandon All Tropes, Ye Who Enter Here

Rating: 😇😇😇😇😇

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: H.E. Double Sticks is my favorite DCOM of all time (even though it’s technically part of The Wonderful World of Disney catalog). It watches almost like a family-friendly Beetlejuice, but instead of the music of Henry Belafonte, we’re given a cover of “Sexything” by Hot Chocolate that subs the word “sexy” for “hockey.” Yes, I’m serious. More importantly, it stars Will Friedle (one of my ultimate childhood crushes) as demon-turned-angel Griffelkin, Matthew Lawrence as narcissistic and up-and-coming hockey player Dave Heinrich, Rhea Perlman as Satan herself, (hell yeah for being progressive) Ms. Beelzebub, or Ms. B for short, and last but certainly not least, Gabrielle Union playing Gaby, a literal angel in disguise, who is responsible for Griffelkin’s redemption. I realize all of this sounds like an entry ripped straight out of my dream journal, but this is an actual movie that exists, so let’s dive into this mother pucking masterpiece. 

H.E. Double Hockey Sticks is based off an opera named Griffelkin, which shares the same premise, but it has nothing to do with horror movies or niche ’90s/’00s movies, so it’s out of my realm of expertise. Our movie focuses on Friedle’s Griffelkin, who has been tasked with snatching Dave’s soul for Ms. B, who wears a wig that would make RuPaul gag. Ms. B, the disembodied head of Marie Antoinette (Jill Greist), and various demons of Hell, including one played by Tyler Labine, watch on as Griffelkin tries to do his worst by using Dave’s pride against him, with the ultimate goal being to capture Dave’s soul in exchange for the Stanley Cup. However, Griffelkin soon becomes afflicted with HAS (Human Attachment Syndrome) and decides the heavenly chorus sounds better than the hellish screams of the underworld and helps Dave mend his relationship and change his icy attitude toward sharing the glory. 

I’ll be the first to say this movie could have absolutely been contrite and clichéd, but the bromance between Friedle and Matthews could move Heaven and Hell. They’re essentially playing their characters Eric Matthews and Jack Hunter, respectively, from Boy Meets World, but it works. Their chemistry makes for an absolutely Divine Comedy. They’re literally fire and ice, but it’s never forced or unbelievable. 

Rhea Perlman is an absolute queen, so why not make her the Queen of Hell? (Sorry Sabrina). She never takes her role too seriously, and she takes the labored delivery out of all of the good or bad (depending on if you’re Team Heaven or Team Hell) puns she’s been written. Plus, she genuinely TORTURES the disembodied head of Marie Antoinette (leave the fun, Converse-clad Sofia Coppola ideas at home for this one), and she somehow makes it believable. You could even say she really gives Marie a leg to stand on. Okay, um, moving on. 

Gabrielle Union is perfect. Like Perlman, she has fun with the material she’s given. You never get bored with Gaby, and surprisingly, she’s written as a strong female character along with Ms. B. They’re both running the show in a way that would make Lizzo proud, even if they’re working for opposing forces. Gaby recognizes the good in Griffelkin, and we suspect something is amiss with the “demon” throughout the entirety of the film, but the big archangel reveal (Gaby is short for Gabrielle instead of Gabriel, and bless them again for being progressive) is still enjoyable. 

I think my only qualm is with Tara Spencer-Nairn’s Anne, Dave’s scorched girlfriend. When you compare her character against heavy-hitters like Ms. B and Gaby, she comes across flat. I think we could absolutely leave her and Dave’s love arc out in the cold. At the very least, I think Anne’s character could have be written to match the other fiery female characters in the film, and I think Spencer-Nairn really does the best she can with what she was given. Otherwise, I think this movie is a hell of a good time. 

Going in to this rewatch, I was genuinely terrified H. E. Double Hockey Sticks wasn’t going to hold up 21 years later, but it still does the (hat) trick. Will Friedle is devilishly delightful, especially when recording voice memos to himself, ranging from listing off everyone and everything that should be dragged to Hell, beginning with the letter “P” to asking Ms. B to adjust the thermostat. He could carry the movie alone but never has to because most of the other characters are so strong. His bond with Matthew Lawrence is reminiscent of Jason Segel and Paul Rudd’s from I Love You, Man, and it’s never overplayed. It worked in Boy Meets World, and it works yet again for Disney’s poster boys of the ’90s/early ’00s. Combine that with Rhea Perlman and Gabrielle Union’s badass afterlife authoritarians, and Disney’s on fire. 

Are there cheesy special effects? Duh. Are there loads of bad (or good) jokes? Yes. Are there cool connections like Dave’s team playing the Mighty Ducks? Absolutely. Unfortunately for Ms. B, none of it is painful. It’s a perfect little gem from my childhood, and they don’t make ‘em like this anymore. H. E. Double Hockey Sticks has absolutely nothing to repent for. It has nothing but wings, baby. Amen.