Bruno-Vision: Mortal Thoughts & Hudson Hawk

Welcome back to Bruno-Vision! A deep dive into the career of Bruce Willis by yours truly, Robert Jordan Hunt. 

Last I left you dear reader, our boy had experienced his second swing and a miss at prestige filmmaking with the mega flop The Bonfire of the Vanities. Despite the film’s failure, the ensemble of talent both behind and in front of the camera meant that Bruce didn’t have to shoulder all the blame, plus the fact that Die Hard 2 had come out earlier the same year and was a massive hit proved that 1990 wasn’t all bad for the actor. 

Not only was Willis still on top of Hollywood’s world, he was determined to take control of his career. Thus the following year would see the movie star develop not one but two starring vehicles that could showcase his range, take a supporting role in another attempt at critical acclaim AND star in another action flick that was sure to be a hit. Yep, that means BW had four (FOUR!) movies come out in 1991. 

I personally find this period in Willis’ career to be particularly fascinating. The actor basically doubles down on himself, hoping audiences want their Bruce WIllis in all kinds of flavors. Action, comedy, drama, musical (!). 

I’ll tell you right now that most of these risks did not pay off, but as I’ve said before and I’ll say again and again, the fact that he was even trying this stuff is why I can’t help but love this dude. ANYWAY, let’s dig in. 

The first film to come out that year, Mortal Thoughts, was actually a family affair for the actor. His wife at the time, Demi Moore (who was a massive star in her own right, having just starred in the Oscar-winning Ghost), was the lead and co-producer of the film that had WIllis playing an abusive, alcoholic husband to Glenne Headly (RIP). Moore and Headly play best friends who may or may not have planned to kill Willis. The movie is told through flashback as Moore’s character is interrogated by two detectives working WIllis’ murder. 

That’s right, Bruce dies early! Which means this is a small but crucial role where our boy gets to go full asshole mode for the first time on screen. Easy peasy, right?

Not quite, unfortunately. Bruce is a believable asshole for sure, but the movie itself is melodramatic to the max and filled with one-note performances (yes, that unfortunately includes Bruno). The film tries to play itself off as a mystery with its flashback-infused narrative, but every idea is so half baked and every performance is so overacted that any dramatic tension is stripped away immediately. 

A lot of this can be explained courtesy of the film’s Wikipedia page (which we all know to be fact). The film had numerous production problems, including losing the director one week into production and an incomplete script, which led to many scenes being improvised, a fact that is painfully obvious throughout. In fact, it feels like most of Bruce’s scenes were one-and-done takes, as his performance feels like it belongs in an afterschool special rather than a major motion picture (forgive me, Bruce).

It’s also the first time in his short (at this point) career that his choice to make this movie doesn’t make sense on paper either. There’s no acclaimed director or screenwriter attached. Aside from Demi and Glenne, there really isn’t a crazy cast in this one either. Harvey Keitel plays one of the cops interrogating Demi, but he’s only in about 10 minutes of the movie and his and Bruce’s character never interact. I think it really came down to the fact that Bruce could get to work with and support his wife (as a producer, Moore was front and center in having to deal with the productions’ numerous problems), and the fact that he got to play the bad guy.  

And I mean, OK! Fair enough. Why not squeeze in a small supporting part that could potentially showcase a new side of your talent? But even with the best of intentions the film simply doesn’t work thanks to the lack of a complete script and proper direction. 

 Once again, Bruce had another major critical and box office disappointment, grossing only $18 million domestically.  At this point, Bruce was piling up more misses than hits, but the hits were big enough that it didn’t yet matter. 

Besides, Bruce Willis: Movie Star had another trick up his sleeve, and this time he knew he was gonna blow the competition out of the water. 

Since Bruce was starting to use his movie star clout, he knew he had to make a big, entertaining movie that would cement his position as one of the biggest stars in Hollywood. Bruno had actually been cooking up this idea for a while (our man even gets a story credit here), so he brought on one of the writers of Die Hard to co-write, a hot up-and-coming director (Michael Lehmann, still riding high off Heathers) and Hollywood giant Joel Silver (Die Hard 1 & 2, Lethal Weapon 1–4) to produce.  

BW was hoping that the combination of action and comedy talent both in front of and behind the camera would make for the perfect summer blockbuster. 

And thus Hudson Hawk was born. A goofball action comedy musical (!) that follows Willis’ titular Hudson Hawk, a famed cat burglar (who is a fiend for cappuccinos) who, immediately after being released from prison, gets roped into a globetrotting plot to steal multiple Leonardo da Vinci works. To say that hijinks ensue simply does not do this movie justice.

The tone of the film is a mix between The Three Stooges and Looney Tunes, with jokes, sight gags and one-liners flying at you a mile a minute. If that sounds insane to you, that’s because it most definitely is. So many choices were made in this movie. Heists timed to musical numbers performed by Willis and Danny Aiello (!), naming goons after chocolate bars, David Caruso as a mime. It’s a roller coaster of WTF,  and it’s all thanks to the vanity of Bruce Willis. The dude was trying to create a new franchise for himself that combined his action and comedy bonafides and he was POSITIVE this was the winning combination. 

It really is so insane to me that this is the film that Willis wanted to make, but goddammit, the man who released two albums for Motown Records (!!!) titled The Return Of Bruno and If It Don’t Kill You It Just Makes You Stronger doesn’t give a shit what I think, and the world is better for it. And you know what else? Bruce is having a blast here. He gives 110%. Whether it’s mugging to the camera, riding a gurney going against traffic, or giving off the coolest and most badass vibes on the planet Earth, he goes for it.

The rest of the cast is just as game if not entirely suited for the material. Danny Aiello goes with the flow, James Coburn gets the joke completely, and Andie MacDowell tries her best. But it’s Sandra Bernhard and Richard Grant who really go for broke as the billionaire villains playing their own version of The Da Vinci Code.

The films’ production mirrored the chaotic nature of the film, with the budget skyrocketing thanks to its globetrotting nature, leading to numerous clashes between the studio and the filmmakers. In fact, the making of the film was so disastrous that it was profiled for The New York Times by James Greenberg when the film was released. 

Thanks to the bad press and ballooning budget, the pressure to succeed was at an all time high. The film opened in late May of 1991, a prime blockbuster release date, only to come in third place behind the first weekend of Kurt Russell’s fireman drama Backdraft and the second weekend of What About Bob? starring Bill Murray. When all was said and done, Hudson Hawk grossed $17 million off a reported $65 million budget. It was the second mega budget flop in as many years for Bruce. Oof.

In the end, audiences just weren’t ready for the goofiness of the film (Arnold Schwarzenegger would have a similar problem with his flop Last Action Hero just two years later), and since Bruce was front and center this time, my boy got the brunt of the blame.  

But time has been kind to Hudson Hawk, as film nerds like me have come to embrace the weirdness of the film and its effort to try something new. These are the choices that make Bruce Willis fascinating to me. This was his first big time Hollywood swing standing on his own, and he went all in. Granted, he may have missed, but man what a swing.

Thankfully, this movie star still had two more films on the docket for 1991, and you can bet your bottom that Willis was crossing his fingers that a supporting role in a period drama with Dustin Hoffman and an upcoming actress named Nicole Kidman as well as a big budget action flick directed by Tony Scott and written by Shane Black were just what the doctor ordered.  

But that’s for next time. Until then, my friends!