BREATHING FIRE: Let me tell you about the best worst movie
Rating: 🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕
“Listen, Annie’s parents were killed for a piece of plastic pizza.”
Ok, there’s obviously THE ROOM, BIRDEMIC, The IT sequel, and everything HOW DID THIS GET MADE? ever covered that you could argue wins the prize for best worst movie but I’m sorry you’re all wrong.
It’s actually a little known flick called BREATHING FIRE.
My boyfriend found the VHS of this movie somewhere years ago, watched it a million times, and somehow told no one else about it.
We open with a slow pan on a cornucopia of plastic food, landing on a man slicing some fake pizza — he cuts him self, licks the blood, makes a fist.
We cut to this man driving his sons, who include JONATHAN KE QUAN (THE GOONIES, TEMPLE OF DOOM). They want him to buy them a red Porsche convertible if they win the martial arts contest, and he’s all “do you think I’m made of money? Maybe I should just rob a bank.”
Cut to him robbing a bank along with a crew that includes BOLO YEUNG (BLOODSPORT) in drag.
We later learn that plastic pizza he cut himself making is meant to hold the mold of the key to the safe where they’ll keep all their stolen money. Each robber gets a slice so the only way they can get into the safe is if they’re all together. Solid robber plan. Nothing could go wrong.
Later this pizza has toppings.
Bowling ball moves
Now, I could fully take you through the plot here but this is a journey you need to take unguided. But I’ll leave you with some reviews from YouTube where the entire movie lives and one IMDB review from allegedly someone who was in the film.
