I Am Made From Love: An Interview with Brian Bowers

Reverie is the debut short film from auteur Brian Bowers, who is a multifaceted creative with a passion for experimental storytelling. A writer, artist, musician, and now first time filmmaker, Brian demonstrates his many talents with Reverie, an experimental short film told primarily through poetic narration and an intricately choreographed dance number. The short is our guide through an artist's inner dialogue, and a reflection of how time connects us to ourselves. I had the honor to speak with Brian, trying to wrap my head around how he was able to pull off these sentiments. We talk about everything from off-site directing to dance choreography to the works of great poets. 

Hyperreal Film Club (HFC): Reverie screened at Hotel Vegas for Hyperreal Film Club. Can you just talk me through what that experience was like?

BB: Yeah, it was awesome. Actually, it was my first in-person screening. I've had quite a few official selections at festivals around the world, and a lot of them I wasn't able to attend in person, because they were just kind of all over the place. This selection happened really quickly, and then the festival was like days after that, so this was the first one that I could attend. I was just overwhelmed, to be honest with you. The support and how encouraging people were and how interested they were in a film that was, you know, kind of about a topic that's a bit esoteric in nature, but they were incredibly supportive and curious and complimentary.

HFC: Yeah, absolutely. I think your film—like you said—is esoteric in nature, but it's also able to speak to such relatable feelings. It's pretty incredible, especially for your first time getting out there on set. Did you feel like you needed to step in and fit like this ideal version in your head of being a film director? 

BB: I was very fortunate to have a really great team of people to work with and that's one of the things that I took away from the filming process. I kind of mentioned this at the screening, originally, my plan was to just hire a production team, and some people to film and just let them. It was going to be a music video, it wasn't even going to be a film. I didn't have words, it was just the music, it was going to be centered around the dance. As I was kind of scouting who I was going to hire, I had this huge pre-production deck. I didn't even know the language and kind of a nomenclature around things. So, I found two filmmakers that I was planning to hire for it, and then we had our first call. Then the choreographer asked me, “How long have you been a filmmaker? Were you working? Can we see your other work?” and I was like, filmmaker?  That was  where the directing part came in. Everything with Reverie was actually done remotely. We did the shot sequences, the keyframes, the production, everything we could. I didn't actually go to Columbia. In fact, when we were looking at locations to film there were times when they would just send me a video on WhatsApp, and then show me the space or I'd have a brochure to  look at space. I was very fortunate to have a team of co-producers that are artists in their own right, that really made it a successful project. 

I wasn't really nervous during the filming process, but definitely afterwards was when I felt more pressure to be a director because that’s what everyone was calling me.

HFC: You were working remotely and that requires a lot of trust. Did you fear your creative ideas wouldn’t shine through, since you weren't able to be there physically? 

BB: We met for weeks before we had the dancers involved. It was weeks before I auditioned them. We met a lot and we went over every detail. In the pre-production deck, I had specific film references, and screen captures of the colors that I wanted. The eligibility, the texture, everything was kind of really planned out. As detailed as you could imagine it, which was why they kind of came up with the, “Hey, you're the director here, because this level of detail.” It still offered a lot of space for them as individual artists to shine. I didn't want it to feel like they didn't have a voice. Even with the coloring, I explained the feeling that we wanted and I allowed the colorist to  translate that into his own aesthetic and then fit that around the film. So no, I was never really concerned because Miguel and Valeria who were my—and I want to make sure I mentioned them by name—they were my co-producers. Valeria ended up being the DP alongside me, but I like to defer to her because she's incredibly talented. Then Miguel ended up being the primary editor and the other co-producer as well. In addition to being the choreographer, they were really, really adamant about making sure that the vision I've set was going to be preserved, because they thought it was very powerful. So, it was nice to have two co-producers who felt very passionate and compelled to uphold and maintain their vision. I was very fortunate. 

HFC:  Where does a script like this originate from? How did it go from a concept to a physical script? 

BB: I ended up writing it right after we filmed. The words came to me in the editing process. I know that sounds really strange, but the dancers never heard the words at all, the only thing they heard was the music. The person who did the narration never heard the music and she never saw the film itself. So, I kind of wrote all of the dialogue and the prose. It was dialogue, in the sense that she was talking to herself, but in the literary sense, it was prose. As we were moving things around and tweaking things, I felt these words coming out of me. 

I'd worked with this voice actor before based out of the UK. I went to her and I said, “Hey, I'm working on this really interesting project.” Originally, it only started off with the most compelling part which was that, “I am made from love, I am made to love that.” That part was all she had in the beginning.  As we continued through the editing process, suddenly all of these words came to me all at once. I went back to her and I said, “Hey, I hate to bother you again, but I started to write and flesh out an actual script for the film.” I really need you to record, and what was interesting is she didn't want me to pay her. So I said, “Well, I have to pay you.” What she told me was that the film had given her so much more than I could ever pay her. She just didn't want to take the money. So, I paid her anyway, because that's the right thing to do. It wasn't a formal script process.  It was really experimental because nothing about the production process—the script writing process, the choreographic process, none of it was traditional. I allowed everyone to kind of exist in their own space. Then in the editing process is when we brought all the pieces together. The sound designer was one of only the people that ended up hearing the words, the music, and seeing the footage altogether. 

HFC: It's very poetic dialogue, so are you a big poetry writer, or reader? Or like, who are some poets that you gravitate towards?

BB: I really enjoy poetry and I don't write it as much as I used to. A few years ago, I self-published a book of poetry. At that time, I was reading a lot of Hafez and Rumi, and Tagore and Neruda, and there's another writer, her name is [Lorine] Niedecker. I forget how it's spelled, but it’s very famous, sort of spiritual. She's so much more than a poet, but she's one of these foundational people in Hindu spirituality. I was really influenced by a lot of writers, within that vein.

HFC: If you continue to make films in the future, which I hope you do, would you want to stick to that non-traditional style? In order to, like you mentioned, have everyone keep their own creative voice? 

BB: I would say definitely. This film was part of a trio of shorts all centered around the same thing. So I have two projects and I just finished a new script for a new short, which is completely different. I still found my way to make it a bit esoteric, but it's more satirical. But in terms of the process, I think  there are definitely elements of it that I would keep the same. I liked the experience of kind of having these different worlds and then gluing them together. In terms of being on site, the pandemic played a role in my being remote the first time, but the second time around I definitely would be there in person. In terms of the styling overall, it's definitely something that I want to expand on and explore more. I also want to find ways to merge that into more traditional narrative shorts. With this next project I'm looking at film techniques and production processes that are similar to what I did here. The actual input I think is more digestible for people. Because—for some people—this kind of film is a bit out there. 

HFC: The choreography is such a big part of this, and one thing that stood out, to me at least was, these characters that are representative of past, present, and future, and how time is so interconnected, it almost felt like their choreography was so dependent on the other people. Was that a main focus when you were planning out the choreography to try and create these dance sequences where nothing really works unless everyone is moving in unison or supporting each other? 

BB: I had been looking for a choreographer for probably a year. I couldn't find anyone in Austin. I knew people, but didn't feel they were the right fit. I kind of found Miguel by accident, and Miguel is primarily an actor. He naturally happens to be able to dance very well, a gift that he has. It was all very deliberate. The idea that the past, present and future are that intimately connected, you can't change one thing without changing everything. Even before I found them, that was something that I really wanted to emphasize. When I first started looking for a choreographer I would always say to them, “There is no star in the short film, everyone has an equal part.” I didn't want any dancer that we were hired to feel like they were the focus. Now, obviously, the “Present” is a huge portion of the film, but in terms of the actual rapport  the dancers had was very, very, very real. They all naturally felt so seamless together, so I was glad that I was able to translate from the intent, to the choreography, to how it was actually conveyed visually in the film. 

HFC: You mentioned the choreography, were there a lot of rehearsals for that? How hard is that to nail down?

BB: We had somewhere between two to three rehearsals. They were often hours each rehearsal. We would be on Google Meet, talking through movements, because I had like these very specific references that I wanted to see. [Miguel] was just able to translate. If something needed to change, we talked it through during the rehearsal. It was all collaborative. I think a lot of people would enjoy their creative work a lot more, but also create work that's really compelling if they really lean into the value of collaboration without fear. Someone's going to take this or someone's going to take that, so he (Miguel) was a fantastic collaborator to work with, to just allow things to emerge.

HFC: I know that you're a musician. What's the transition from musician to filmmaker? Do you look towards music videos as inspiration? Or do you look more towards films?

BB:I think when I hear music, I'm always thinking of a visual. When I see visuals, if there isn't music, I'm always thinking of music. So, it is a bit of both. The film that I'm most inspired by, which happens to be one of my favorite films of all time, is The Fall by Tarsem [Singh]. It was just so beautifully done. Obviously, it is a visual spectacle, but the music and sound choices that he picked were so perfect and appropriate. It's hard to describe. Someone asked me, “Do I enjoy films the same way anymore? Am I always looking at them as a filmmaker?” I think I always have, and I've always listened to music every now and then to appreciate it. Then sometimes I'm listening to how the mastering was done, and how the mixing was done, how the overhead is done, the panning and all this. I think that the transition was seamless, because I've kind of always been a producer of some kind.

HFC: How do you feel about the film now? How do you feel about the process? 

BB: It was a life changing process for me. When I look back on it, I think I'm very proud of what we were all able to create. I'm very proud of the people that I worked with, and I'm kind of like, naturally, what they call a Strengthsfinder—a developer. I really take a great interest in seeing people evolve and achieve the things they want to achieve. That's something else I feel very proud about, because I felt like everyone who walked away from the project with something that they could take to advance their own careers. A couple of the dancers were finishing their undergraduate degrees, so they were able to use this project to help them with their coursework. I really liked that aspect of it, everyone walking away from the creative experience feeling like they have something that they can be proud of. That was the most important thing to me.

HFC: I wanted to ask you, what does it look like going forward? What do you hope to accomplish more with your filmmaking?

BB: I'm probably overly philosophical, but I talk a lot about the creative economy. That ties in to what I was mentioning about when I was in early, I mean, I'm still actually an early career creative, I have one short film. More when I was in college, trying to do music and trying to do creative and multimedia projects, I just really had a hard time finding people who would take a shot on me. I just focused on work and building my professional career, my corporate career. When I was able to afford to do my own projects, I wanted to do something. I wanted to do things differently and give people an opportunity that I didn't have. So, I would say, in the future I would hope to do a project that holds a really collaborative spirit, I hope to continue doing that. Using that, I don't want to call it a platform, but a way to give early career creatives a shot. A lot of people have a tremendous amount of talent and a ton of ideas, but they don't have an opportunity to do that, or to develop those ideas or to show the world what they can do. I hope to be able to create more opportunities for people.

HFC: Yeah, absolutely. I think most people are creative, just without an output to express it. So, by actively pursuing those people, then you're just enhancing the creativity that's being produced and shared with the world. That's really admirable. Well, we already talked about your short film. You mentioned earlier that you had self published a poetry book, what's the name of that book?

BB: It's called Satisficing Light. So, I'm laughing because it was this big ambitious thing I did. I started a publishing company to put it out there, and it was my first kind of real big creative project. I ended up turning it into a performance installation theater piece that premiered at a dance festival with a classmate of mine from college a few years ago. It was kind of my first interactive piece, it started off as a poetry book and then turned into this performance.